Chapel Hill shooting: My best friend was killed and I don’t know why | Fusion
21-year-old Yusor Mohammad Abu-Salha was shot in the head alongside her husband and her sister in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, on Tuesday. A preliminary police investigation suggests that the fatal shootings were the result of a parking dispute, but the possibility that it was a hate crime has not been ruled out. A 46-year-old neighbor, Craig Stephen Hicks, has been arrested and charged.
Here, Yusor’s friend, Amira Ata, a teacher, tries to make sense of the tragedy—and recalls an evening when the alleged shooter arrived at the victims’ apartment because he thought they were making too much noise playing a board game. He came to the door with a rifle, Yusor told her.
As told to Latoya Peterson.
Yusor Abu-Salha was like a sister to me.
We’ve always been together. Starting in third grade, we went through elementary school, middle school, high school, undergrad in Raleigh, North Carolina. We were inseparable.
I’ve never felt anything like this before. There’s always trends on Facebook and Instagram because of loss. You feel something, but you still scroll past because it doesn’t affect you. This time feels different. I still remember every outfit, where everything is in her room. It’s shocking. I almost don’t believe it happened. I can’t text her anymore. We were planning a trip for spring break. We were thinking about D.C. but we weren’t sure. It just doesn’t seem real. Even though it’s everywhere, it’s on the news, I still can’t quite believe it.
Words can’t really describe who she was. She’s such an amazing person. I feel like people always say that after they lose someone. This isn’t to boost her after her death—she really was a good person.
She always put others ahead of herself, just like her husband, Deah Barakat. I am the person I am today because of her. She’s a really sweet person, you never catch her angry. She’s patient, very loving, like her mom, she’s caring. She’s a good person. She was newly married and getting used to that life transition. She had just been accepted at Chapel Hill for dentistry.
Over the summer, Yusor went to Turkey. I’m a teacher at a small private school in Raleigh, and my school ran a collection drive for .
My students were so excited to help. They collected so many toothbrushes and packages of dental floss that Yusor couldn’t carry it—she had to pay extra bag fees. She went with her mom to assist.
Amira Ata, front left, with Yusor Abu-Salha, front right. Courtesy of Amira Ata
When Yusor came back, she brought cupcakes to say thank you. It was raining, and it was a wonderful treat. The kids left cupcake icing all over my dress. Everyone was happy. Yusor was always interested in the helping side of medicine. She’s been on the same career path since we were little, it’s what we grew up around. Her dad is a psychiatrist, her mom helps with the practice and in the home. I want to be a psychiatrist like her father, he’s been my inspiration since we were kids.
I feel sad, but I also feel happy because she didn’t die alone. I’m not really sure how I feel exactly. I wish I could see her again—last time I saw her was Sunday. We were just talking about pictures she had posted from her surprise bridal shower in the mountains. I was planning on seeing her tomorrow, just to hang out. It’s just very unreal. It doesn’t make sense. I’m trying to stay faithful.
I don’t know if I believe she was targeted for her beliefs. I don’t think so – I think the shooter, Craig Steven Hicks, is just an angry person. I know Yusor didn’t do anything to him – there’s no way she could have said even one thing wrong to him because she doesn’t get mad. She never says anything back even if someone yells at her. Her husband is even nicer, her sister is even nicer – none of them would have said anything to make someone that angry.
Three lives literally are gone just to justify…whatever he was thinking.
I understand people look down on our religion. They think a lot of things, like we are terrorists. People don’t understand us Muslims are embarrassed of these people who are using Islam in bad ways to justify being cruel. Yusor and Deah represented a big part of our community—they were two good Muslims. Yusor believes in her religion. She is peaceful and she was raised well. She chose a healthy way of life. We weren’t extreme. We are the middle path. We aren’t strict on stuff outside of the head covering. I think there is a lot of misinterpretation of what Islam is.
I can’t understand why someone would hate them enough to kill them.
I read articles about this guy and they say he’s an atheist, but I don’t really know if that’s the connection the media makes it out to be. I’m not really sure if he thinks his act is justified.
Honestly, I don’t want to say, “Why her?” because I don’t want this to happen to anyone. What we’ve been feeling over the last 12 hours I don’t want anyone to ever feel.
Amira Ata, left, with Yusor Abu-Salha. Courtesy of Amira Ata
I have so many questions for Hicks.
I know that he’s an aggressive man. That’s not the first we’ve heard from him. Hicks was their neighbor.
In October or November, we went to dinner at Yusor and Deah’s house. Right after we left, Yusor heard a knock at the door and it was Hicks. She told us he was angry and said we were noisy and there were two extra cars in the neighborhood. We used visitor parking but he was still mad. He said we woke up his wife. It wasn’t that dark yet. It wasn’t late. And it wasn’t that loud. We were playing a board game called Risk. I mean, I know I was mad because they were beating me at the game, but that was it.
While he was at the door talking to Yusor, he was holding a rifle, she told me later. He didn’t point it at anyone, but he still had it. Yusor called to check on us after we left, to make sure he hadn’t approached us. We thought that was so weird—our neighbors don’t come to the door with guns! So when I heard the news it was shocking, but it wasn’t a surprise that it was the neighbor.
When I heard the news report and drove down there from Raleigh, I hoped it wasn’t anyone I knew. But I saw the apartment on the news and it was his apartment.
If it wasn’t a hate crime, what was it? If you have a problem with your neighbors, you don’t shoot people. I think they were targeted because they were different. He was always so annoyed with them for little things. They are talking about a parking dispute online—that’s definitely not true. There’s plenty of space, and Deah had just gotten off the bus. I wonder if he just thought Deah was some white guy before his wife moved in.
Amira Ata, left, with Yusor Abu-Salha. (Courtesy of Amira Ata)
Deep down everyone in this community knows it was a hate crime. But how do you prove it?
I have so many questions for him.
She’s so young. Would you not let her blossom a bit more? What went through your mind? I mean, as you pulled the trigger you clearly killed people. You killed one, then you killed a second time, a third time. And you walked away from the scene. You took three young people. I don’t know if he has kids but how could you do that to someone’s child? And then just walk away. What is his motive? I wonder what would have happened if we were there? Would he have killed us all, since we were a bunch of hijabis? I can’t imagine. I have so many questions I don’t know how to word them all. And I want to know exactly what happened, all the details. I need to know.
I used to speak to her every day, we won’t be able to do that anymore. He took so much—from me, from this family, from this community. You saw the people coming out [for the vigils]. You see how loved, how respected they were. We all have to suffer this loss, and for what? If the roles were reversed you would have a huge terrorist problem in the headline. That’s the funny thing.
We’re just taking it slow. Looking at pictures, remembering her. Tonight, there’s something at seven o’clock. I know the funeral isn’t today.
I can’t believe it’s only 11 o’ clock. I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Condensed and edited for clarity.
Like us on Facebook
We like you too! Give us a little click.
AND YOU'RE IN!
Be on the lookout for great stories from Fusion, served right to your inbox.
Share the Wealth
Friend's Email
Your Email
Hiya. You should drop everything you're doing and read this right now.
By submitting above you agree to Fusion's
Your email was sent. =]10 Things to Know Before Dating a Women Who Doesn’t Want Kids
Follow Us On Twitter
Cosmopolitan
Follow Us On Pinterest
Cosmopolitan
Sign Up For Our Newsletter
Breaking News!
What Your Sign Says About the Way You Kiss
Makeup 101: Brushing Up on the BasicsCreated for Tweezerman
13 Hilarious Things Kim Kardashian and Paris...
Why Republican Lawmakers in Texas Seem Out of...
10 Things Every Woman Learns When She Is Single
1. You should have your own baby feelings figured out.
If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. If you don't, pursuing something more long-term isn't fair to either of you. The plan is simple: (1) Be a cool, reasonable human. (2) Figure out your own shit out so you don't harsh everyone's good time. (3) Drink two margaritas. (4) Be happy forever.Advertisement - Continue Reading Below2. You won't change her mind.
Please don't try. A decision like this is not easily come to and when she says she doesn't want kids, she means it. It's insulting to everyone involved when you try to cajole or trick her into babies. Don't be a jerk. (See above simple plan to know how to behave.)3. You're going to do lots of super-fun stuff together.
She's most likely very into spontaneous activity and you'll be taking lots of last-minute road trips, surprise dates, and wacky adventures together. (And you won't have to spend money on a babysitter for any of it! Score.)4. She probably loves to travel.
Not having kids means more freedom and more disposable income, so it's easy peasy to book a last-minute flight to Japan because Travelzoo is having a crazy deal. She's all about experiencing and living life, so she needs a partner who won't hesitate to hike Mount Kilimanjaro if her climbing club is planning a trip.5. She's not a child hater.
Just because she doesn't want to shoot a watermelon out of her vagina and then raise it to become a responsible member of society doesn't meant she can't love the crap out of other kids. My nieces and nephew are the most important people to me in the world outside of my husband and this pizza. (Because it's pizza.)6. She won't rule out dating you because you have kids.Sometimes a woman just doesn't want to experience giving birth and being the primary (or sole) caretaker for a bebe. That doesn't mean she wouldn't love to play second fiddle to the little ones in your life. She might not want to but you should definitely ask.7. Moving is easier for her.She doesn't have to worry about disrupting any life but her own, and trekking across the country (or to a new country!) for love is not a deal breaker. Translation: Seeking out long-distance romances with fly-ass honeys (sorry) in other area codes is suddenly a (very awesome) possibility. *Broadens OkCupid search.* *Meets soul mate.* *Thanks writer of this list (Laura) with a million billion dollars.* *Eventually goes to heaven.*8. Just because she doesn't have (or want) kids doesn't mean she isn't busy.Women without children keep schedules packed with jobs they love, booked social calendars, and a million other commitments. Heck, Ladies Sans Babies ( contact me about membership!) can be even busier than their breeding counterparts, so don't assume someone is free and easy just because she's without bebe.9. She still wants a serious relationship.Just because kids don't factor into the equation doesn't necessarily rule out love, marriage, and everything but the baby carriage. She might still want a partner to grow ridiculously old with and yell Jeopardy answers at the screen with when you're both 102.10. She's still a "complete" woman.Just because she doesn't have the urge to raise a child doesn't mean she's lacking in any way. Women without kids can still be deeply selfless, utterly empathetic, and capable of giving total and complete love and trust.Follow Laura on Twitter.
Stop Asking Me Where My Kid's Dad Is
This Mom's Reaction to Her Baby's Daycare Wardrobe Malfunction Is Fantastic
This Woman Was Found Alive After Spending Hours Overboard in the Chesapeake Bay
Here's Why "Serial" Subject Adnan Syed Is Getting a New Trial
11 Things That Only Happen in Offices and Kindergartens
20 "Crappy Mom Confessions" All Moms Will Understand
10 Things Breastfeeding Moms Want Their Shamers to Know
The Unbelievably Selfless Way This Teen With Cancer Used His Make-a-Wish
The #1 Most Underrated Part of Summer
This Dad Is Trolling His Daughter's Selfies and It's Just Too Good
More From LifestyleHow to Tell if She Wants a Kiss - eHarmony Advice
Now free to communicate
Select One
Seeking a:
Select One
Your Country?
How'd you hear about us?
Television
Online (Search, Banner, Email)
Press (News Interview or Article)
Word of Mouth
Online video (YouTube, Hulu, etc)
Social Media (Facebook, Twitter etc)
By clicking on the button above, I confirm that I have read and agree to the
Already a member?
Relationships
Using eHarmony
Dating Tips
>> How to Tell if She Wants a Kiss
How to Tell if She Wants a Kiss
by eHarmony Staff
The first kiss can force you into a tailspin of over-analysis, uncertainty and fear of rejection. Once you understand the secrets to smooching, scoring some mouth music will be a minor gamble rather than a major flip-out. If determining the right time for a first kiss is a challenge, follow some of these tested tips to determine your likelihood for affection.
Gauging the Graze
Her responses to your casual touching can speak volumes about her readiness to move forward. The casual sweeping of her shoulders as you help her with her coat, or her response when you brush against her hand in the popcorn bag or touch the small of her back as you guide her to the table provides plenty of clues. If she pulls away at all, then slow down a bit and take some more time. If she smiles, blushes or giggles, then it&s time to prolong your skin contact. Maybe a hand on hers at the dinner table or a steady arm when walking her to the car will be a comfortable next step toward sealing the smooch.
Hug It Out
One way to learn about how a woman feels about you is to assess the hug response. When saying hello or goodbye, keep the embrace short and look for nonverbal feedback. Does she linger a bit and press into you? If so, you might even be able to get the short first kiss in right then. If she seems a little put off&delivers the dreadful double pat on the back or the famed rigid arm hug&then you have a little more work to do in loosening her up and heading toward romance.
Enthusiasm Matters
If she&s interested, her eagerness will show. It&s generally those &in-between& times that will reveal her level of interest, clueing you in to how she feels about spending time with you. It’s generally in the lull between dinner and the movie or during the walk to the car that she has the best opportunity for reasons&or excuses&to end the date and go home. See if she is anxious to continue the date with you. Does she suggest the idea of coffee or a cocktail to extend the evening or is she looking for an opportunity to ditch you?
Asking for Action
A completely personal preference for women is whether they expect to be asked for permission to be kissed. To be on the safe side, you may be better off asking if you aren&t sure. It will be received as a sign that either you&re a respectful gentleman or you&re a wuss. Keep in mind that we’re talking about a simple display of affection. All you’re going to do is kiss her, and the sexiest way to do this is to be spontaneous. This means that if you want her to get excited, you’re going to have to kiss her without asking for permission. Besides, she can always give you the cheek if she&s not into it. As long as her vibe is welcoming and you don&t turn into a lecherous loser, she might appreciate your first move without hesitation.
Timing the Tenderness
Women notice and welcome the romance and timing of making a first kiss special. They love it when it&s memorable and positive but looks as if it happened spontaneously. Find a time when she&ll welcome some sugar but doesn&t necessarily expect it. A good rule to follow is to not plant the first kiss at a conventional moment when your date might be expecting & and guarding against & a lip lock. The end of the date is full of pressure as you stand at her door awkwardly commenting on how the date went, looking at your toes while fighting stomach butterflies and sweaty palms. Instead, pay attention to her cues and try kissing her earlier in the date or not at all.
The key to determining the right time to go in for the kiss is to pay attention to her hints. Not every date has to end with a smooch. Sometimes it’s better to take your time and work up to the passionate peck. The timing and strategy of kissing is not a science, but it will look that way if you are mechanical and rehearsed. When it finally happens, relax, have fun and enjoy one right in the smacker.
Share this post:
If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!
More like this:
Already a member?
Now free to communicate on eHarmony
Select One
Seeking a...
Select One
Who told you about us?
Television
Online (Search, Banner, Email)
Press (News Interview or Article)
Word of Mouth
Online video (YouTube, Hulu, etc)
Social Media (Facebook, Twitter etc)
Find my matches
By clicking on the button above, I confirm that I have read and agree to the
Connect with us
Most Popular Articles Dating Advice湖北省荆门市学年高二下学期期末质量检测英语试题(PDF版)_百度文库
湖北省荆门市学年高二下学期期末质量检测英语试题(PDF版)
荆门市学年度下学期期末质量检测
本试卷共10页。全卷满分150分。考试用时120分钟。
第一部分：听力（共两节，满分30分）
第一节（共5小题，每小题1.5分，满分7.5分）
听下面5段对话。每段对话后有一个小题，从题中所给的A、B、C三个选项中选出最佳选项，并标在试卷的相应位置。听完每段对话后，你都有10秒钟的时间来回答有关小题和阅读下一小题。每段对话仅读一遍。
1.Whatdoesthewomanmean?
A.Theexpensivefridgeiswortheverypenny.
B.Themanmakeshisdecisiontoocasually.
C.Themancansavemorethan400yuan.
2.Howmuchshouldthewomanpayfortheparking?
A.2yuan.B.5yuan.C.10yuan.
3.WhatdoesthewomaninvitethemantodoonSunday?
A.Playfootball.B.Playtennis.C.Goswimming.
4.Whatdoesthemandomostprobably?
A.Apostman.B.Aclerk.C.Apoliceman.
5.Howlongisthewomanapprovedtobeoff?
A.Fourweeks.B.Twotothreeweeks.C.Oneweek.
第二节（共15小题，每小题1.5分，满分22.5分）
听下面5段对话或独白。每段对话或独白后有几个小题，从题中所给的A、B、C三个选项中选出最佳选项，并标在试卷的相应位置。听每段对话或独白前，你将有时间阅读各个小题，每小题5秒钟；听完后，各小题将给出5秒钟的作答时间。每段对话或独白读两遍。
听第6段材料，回答第6至7题。
6.Wheredoestheconversationprobablytakeplace?
A.Inthelibrary.B.Inthebookstore.C.Intheoffice.
7.Whendoesthemanadvisethewomantocomeback?
A.Adaylater.B.Twodayslater.C.Threedayslater.听第7段材料，回答第8至9题。
8.What’stheprobablerelationshipbetweenthespeakers?
A.Strangers.B.Colleagues.C.Classmates.
9.Howmanypeoplewereinjuredintheaccident?
A.9.B.8.C.6
听第8段材料，回答第10至12题。
10.Wheredoestheconversationprobablytakeplace?
A.Inthebuilding.B.Inthestreet.C.Intheyard.
11.Whatdoesthemanwanttodo?
A.Buysomecigars.B.Haveasmoke.C.Drinksomebeer.
高二英语·第1页（共15页）
第1 / 15页
贡献者：xu7321}